Movie Review: Iron Man 3 (2013)

Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is now a shadow of his former self. He’s overwhelmed by the reality of seeing aliens; he’s struggling with the fact that he nearly died during Marvel’s The Avengers; and he can no longer seem to to put himself in his Iron Man suit. He’s a manic, depressed man, suffering from crippling panic attacks and insomnia. Even his relationship with the woman he loves, Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow), is on the rocks. This should have been the most interesting take on Iron Man ever: Tony Stark in denial that he’s a good person, obsessed with making sense of the inexplicable things he’s been through over the last few years, and coping by constantly trying to improve his Iron Man alter ego.

But this is not the most interesting Tony Stark we’ve seen – far from it. With one line of dialogue, Tony is reminded he is a “mechanic” who fixes things, and all of a sudden he goes from being in desperate need of therapy to a competent hero in seconds. And herein lies the problem with Iron Man 3 – none of its good ideas ever seem to pan out into anything substantial, making this outing feel hollow when compared to its predecessors. This is a bad way to start off the second round of Mavel films, which presumably will culminate in another Avengers' flick sometime in the future — and that future is looking bleak.

Movie Review: The Evil Dead (2013)

When I heard 1981’s The Evil Dead was being remade, I was livid. I put on my Army of Darkness shirt, sought out Internet horror forums for a little bias confirmation -- and it worked. I was ready to oppose any remake of the Sam Raimi classic on the basis that the unique appeal of the low-budget original could never be captured again. The fact that the creators behind that first trip to a cabin in the woods were producing this new version didn’t seem to reduce my level of outrage. After all, so many horror classics have been butchered via modern Hollywood remakes that I had valid reason to doubt Evil Dead would be anything other than just another casualty.

Movie Review: G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

When I was a kid I could play with my action figures for hours, developing simple stories in my head, all in an attempt to make sense of the smashing and gun noises that would accompany the battleground on my bedroom floor. And you know what? It worked.

I didn’t need a great script as long as I was able to give the fun I was having a little bit of foundation. I think the filmmakers behind G.I. Joe: Retaliation could learn a thing or two from childhood me – you need to give all of the explosions some context, but the end product should exist solely to provide the viewer with some entertainment.

Movie Review: Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)

It opened in classic 4:3 black and white, a story unfolding about a magician, Oz (James Franco), who has dreams of greatness. After a visit from the woman he loves detailing her pending marriage, the Wizard seems torn between the simple life he rejected and the show business life he’s barely living. The opening moments embrace the film style of the 1930s, and subtle satire is the motivation behind nearly every line. We all know how cheesy some classic movies can be, and apparently so does Raimi, who has every actor in the prologue overdoing it in the most perfect way.

Oz is a bit of a scoundrel; one who seems to have a weakness for beautiful women. He’s pulled the same absurd line about his grandma’s music box a few too many times, and it’s all about to blow up in his face. After a less-than-successful magic act, he finds himself being chased by the new man of a former love interest – who happens to be the strongman in the circus.

Movie Review: Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

Jack the Giant Slayer is a visually spectacular adventure that borrows from two classic fairytales, Jack and the Beanstalk and Jack the Giant Killer. The result is a formulaic story about a peasant who saves a princess from giants that live in the clouds, and a king who doesn’t mind his daughter’s wishes. Jack the Giant Slayer is a film that follows the classic fairytale formula closely, but in this case that actually works to the film’s advantage.

Director Bryan Singer (X-Men, Superman Returns) remembers why kids like fairytales: because they’re fantastical, a little bit ridiculous, and a whole lot of fun. In the end things always turn out happily ever after, and there’s really no reason not to meet that expectation. Jack the Giant Slayer is an escapist film for the whole family and, while it definitely won’t speak to you on an intellectual level, you’ll enjoy the ride—if you’ll allow yourself to be a kid again.

Movie Review: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Remember in the first Die Hard how John McClane ran barefoot over broken glass, tearing up his feet in a way that made the audience feel it? That mortal, relatable character is long gone, replaced by someone who is just another A Good Day to Die Hard action superstar. Now the rogue NYPD detective can fall through dozens of windows, survive multiple explosions, and even brave toxic radiation without getting so much as a scratch. The new John McClane is an absolute badass, spewing witty dialogue while gunning down countless bad guys with ease. And that’s exactly why I don’t like him anymore.

In A Good Day to Die Hard, the fifth installment in the long-running series, all we get is a generic action spectacle, with absolutely nothing hidden below the surface. Admittedly, this new high-speed approach makes for some awesome looking stunts; however, there’s only so many times a guy can tie a truck to helicopter before it becomes a little bit ridiculous.